What is wellness?
Wellness is a word that is commonly heard today, and most of us have a good idea of what it means: a general a sense of peace, satisfaction and health. More specifically, wellness can be defined as thriving, not simply surviving. Wellness includes the state of being healthy and content: physically, emotionally, socially, intellectually and spiritually; being in balance and caring for all aspects of our selves.
External messages, ideas and expectations about what our lives should be like, how we should behave and even how we should feel can contribute to a habit of looking outside ourselves for wellness, creating a dissonance contrary to harmonious balance. We are bombarded with media and advertising that can ingrain ideas that our wellness and balance lie outside of ourselves. We can be seduced by these messages, both overt and subtle, that can lead to a pervasive state of being ill at ease. The spiritual teacher Ram Dass wrote: “As long as you have certain desires about how it ought to be you can't see how it is."
Because our natural tendency is to avoid distress and suffering, external messages we receive can be like mood-altering substances that temporarily ease our distress. We may fantasize about what our life might be like if we only take that vacation, if we only have a certain type of body, or if we only have that car, for example. We may compare ourselves to others and tell ourselves we fall short. We may spend money and time in the pursuit of these paper dragons. We may imagine that we will finally be happy, well and in balance if we have these things.
When we get hooked in this way, we are like a dog chasing its own tail. We are seduced by an illusion. The paradox is that suffering can be our greatest opportunity to grow, evolve, and to experience wellness. Taking the brave step to sit with suffering and not push it away can lead to deeper self-knowledge and compassion. When we suffer our hearts and minds are more open. We have the chance to honestly question our drives and motivations. The phrase "having a broken heart" is a metaphor that describes this state of being. Our hearts crack open and we have the occasion to connect with our true selves.
Suffering is an opportunity for our egos to release their grip on ideas of who we think we are, who we think we should be, and what we cling to out of fear. This tender release allows us to consider who we really are, what we truly need, to clarify our values, and how we want to move through life going forward.
It is important to remember that life events--those within your control and those that are not, ebb and flow. Times of suffering do not last forever just as moments of happiness and joy are fleeting, as well. Learning to work with experiences instead of fighting against them allows us to be fully present in the moment, knowing we can learn from whatever comes our way. Noticing our thoughts, our emotions and how our bodies feel can provide clues to psychological and physical habits that don't serve us and stand in the way of moving toward wellness. Accepting that neither you, nor your life have to perfect releases tension and anxiety, promoting a foundation of self-confidence and safety.
Most of us have seen or met people who exude the aura of wellness. People who have found this kind of peace are no different than you or me. No matter what life has brought so far, we all have the innate ability to pursue and find wellness. We can retrain our minds, hearts and bodies in new ways we may have thought impossible to achieve. Beginning the practice of being patient and gentle with ourselves, while taking small steps--even baby steps toward self-knowledge, self-awareness, and self-compassion begins the journey that leads to the wellness and balance we seek.
